Washington cemetery hires death doula to guide visitors through conversations on mortality

Laura Lyster-Mensh currently walks the grounds of Historic Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C., engaging visitors in open discussions about dying. She holds the title of death doula, a role that may represent a first for a national landmark cemetery.

The position involves more than passive observation. Lyster-Mensh describes her primary goal as promoting 'death positivity.' She walks with people through the cemetery grounds to create space for unafraid and sometimes awkward talk about mortality. This approach aims to shift public perception from one of fear to one of curiosity.

Lyster-Mensh acknowledges that the term 'death positivity' can initially appear disrespectful to those who are grieving. She argues, however, that the concept is fundamentally about improving the quality of life. By viewing death as a boundary that makes life precious, individuals can feel more at ease with their existence.

Her work includes regular events known as 'death cafes.' During these gatherings, she provides tea, cookies, and a specific deck of cards labeled 'the death deck.' These cards are designed to spark dialogue about end-of-life preferences and personal mortality.

Participants often express hesitation when first introduced to the topic. Lyster-Mensh notes that people frequently say they do not want to discuss death. However, once they begin using the cards, they report having more genuine conversations about the people they care about. She states that these topics are often uncomfortable for people to initiate until the moment arrives or passes.

Lyster-Mensh advises people to slow down in their daily lives. She observes that many individuals try to speed through grief and happy moments alike. She suggests that one cannot be truly present if they are hoarding those moments.

The cemetery is a national landmark located in the heart of the capital. Lyster-Mensh’s role centers on helping visitors navigate the emotional aspects of end-of-life care, from planning final moments to providing respite for caregivers.